Gods for Each Other

July 20 would have been my mom’s 82nd birthday.

Accidentally (there are no accidents) every book I read during my week away last week

was about grief. Centered grief. Spotlighted grieving.

I miss her every day/I feel closer to her than I ever have.

I am always so grateful for who she was.

I am sometimes so sad for who she wanted to be/who she could have been, but didn’t get the chance.

She was powerful she was wise she was loving but she was not very soft.

She deserved softness and didn’t know it a day in her life.

If I have learned softness and how to be soft, does it send softness back in time to her? I hope so.

She was and is the villain in some people’s stories (but not mine).

It takes a lot of courage to be in your truth and be the villain for the people who are too scared to be in theirs.

She taught me a lot about love and how to make beautiful things out of nothings.

I see who I have become by my mom’s 82nd birthday (in a bright green bathroom on a long drive home) and I love her and I love me.

She taught me how to live in uncertainty. Valuable skills for these times. Breathe in. Breathe out. You’ll figure out a way because we always do.

I changed her. She changed me. We were gods for each other.

And God is change. god is change. god is change.